I believe that Christmas is a time of reflection and rejoicing, the Son of God, our savior, born of the Virgin Mary, was swaddled and laid in a manger. Jesus came to us as a sweet helpless baby. He stepped into darkness to bring light, hope and peace. I love that each year surrounded by loving family and friends I am able to reflect on this.
I don't know about y'all but my life has been absolutely crazy these last two months before 2014 comes to an end. We have had one crazy adventure after the next. November was a whirlwind with Nolan's tour ending and me traveling for work. As December began, we took on some home renovations in prep for our home study. By the way, our home study was fantastic. We laughed, Baxter made a new friend, we got everything organized and were able to show off our adored home. It was a success and we should have everything completed by the first of the year. Once our report is completed we can adopt anytime!!! Okay back to my crazy life rant: We had a short trip to Texas and then traveled to Michigan for the holiday. The first week of January is Danny and Jenny's big wedding that we are so excited for. One crazy adventure after another wonderful amazing crazy adventure has kept us very busy.
The reason I bring up our craziness, is because I have felt like things have been moving way too fast. It's been moving so fast that I have been unable to truly enjoy each and every adventure. They have each meshed into one colorful blur. I totally understand that we are in a beautiful season of change and expectation...BUT lately I have needed to constantly remind myself to breath and slow down. It's in stillness that I can reflect and send prayers of thanksgiving for each adventure.
I had a very interesting adventure happen to me earlier this month. For many months, I have had an overwhelming desire to slow myself down reflect and study my core belief in God. I have wanted to set aside time each day to journal and read/study. I have crazy cool ideas like this all the time but most ideas come to me hot and ready but fizzle out quickly. Things like, "I should work out each and everyday"...or "maybe I need to start running three miles, three times a week"...or "I should mop my floors twice a week"...or "I should make soup twice a week...okay maybe once a week". My point is that some of these things happen and become a habit, some I make a compromise with myself, and some I forget about the next day. But some tweak at my heart and I can't turn the light bulb off. Wanting to journal and study, setting aside time each day for quiet time, has been one of these thoughts. Okay now that the back story is set let me tell you about the adventure.
Nolan's beautiful Aunt Roberta passed December 7th. This news came suddenly and knocked the family to our knees. Nolan and I flew out to Texas the day after our home study to be with family. At the funeral I meet sweet Jeanne. She is an older woman, probably in her late seventies. I could see right away that she loved following Jesus and served the Church where Nolan's Aunt and Uncle attended. I knew through stories that she had taken Nolan's Aunt and Uncle under her wing and loved them very much. She hunched over when she walked, loved to hug everyone and had the most amazing crystal blue eyes...the kind that could see right through you and tug at your heart. Anyway, her and I got to talking and as she was hugging me she realized I was the niece who was in the midst of adoption. She hugged me tighter and whispered, "I have three adopted children and you are going to be an amazing mother...I can tell." Right then, I felt that tug on my heart as my hair follicles rose at the back of my neck and I hugged her tightly. She ended up coming to the dinner Uncle Al had planned for close family and friends at an Italian restaurant close by. As she walked in (arriving after everyone else) both our eyes locked and she smiled. As she walked behind me she plopped a book into my lap and kept on moving to go give Uncle Al a big hug and find a spot at his table. The title of the book: "My Life with Christ" Spiritual Meditations for the Modern Reader by Anthony J. Paone S.J. What a sweet gift from a sweet woman! I will probably never see her again. We might write however, as I did obey my mothers lesson and sent her a thank you note right away.
Here is the point of sharing this adventure with you: When I met Jeanne, my life was a crazy storm and I could hardly see straight. I felt like this moment...was the calm eye of my storm. It was a silent moment where everything instantly slowed down. I believe God has some things he wants me to mull over and organize in my big brain of mush. I believe he is wanting me to slow down and set aside time with him (just him) everyday. In my craziness, my prayer time becomes quick, as I fall asleep or non-existent. Its almost like life and its craziness has a way of drawing me away from my relationship with God. I have so many changes happening with me and in my life...I want to see God as the author of these things. I want to be able to see him and when life is crazy I sometimes I don't. I crave to be a woman like Jeanne. Someone who can see right into a person and allow God to work through her to help change peoples lives. Her hugs, words of encouragement, and gift was just what I needed in the time that I needed it. The book she plopped on my lap is now something that I hold in my hands. It's tangible and available. It's something I can choose to become dedicated to and I will. I plan to sit down with my journal and read through this book. Each day for the next 183 days, I plan to quietly read a short three paragraphs and maybe journal about how I feel about what I have read. I might even make myself a cup of tea. Most importantly, I will calm my heart...quiet my body and listen. Change is coming and I want to remember and enjoy every detail.
In Peace.
Let it begin...
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